BY JOHN SNYDER
OF PASCACK PRESS
PARK RIDGE, N.J.—The organizer of last fall’s domestic violence and gun safety awareness forum at Borough Hall says the gathering, billed as the first of its kind in the area, was a solid start—and potentially a life saver.
Held Oct. 25, 2018 the event featured panelists Mayor Keith Misciagna, Park Ridge Police Sgt. Michael Babcock, and representatives from the Center for Hope and Safety and Everytown For Gun Safety.
The panel defined domestic violence—a pattern of behaviors used by one partner to maintain power and control over another partner in an intimate relationship—and facilitated a discussion on dating violence, resources for survivors of violence, and state and county efforts to keep the community safe from violence.
Organizer Carinne Murphy said at the time she hoped attendees would join in for a productive conversation.
On Dec. 26, she said that’s exactly what happened, adding that, as dating violence is on the rise, she plans to get high schools more involved.
She also said she’s heard from other area mayors who want to offer such forums in their communities.
In March, after the Valentine’s Day Parkland shooting, Westwood hosted one regional forum on gun laws and school safety and another on gun limits with Moms Demand Action and the group Mayors Against Illegal Guns.
Murphy said the purpose of the Park Ridge forum “was to make people aware that domestic violence is actively happening in our local community, to show the rates of domestic violence, to provide available resources for survivors and their families, and to teach people how to safely help others experiencing domestic violence.”
She added, “I believe that the Borough of Park Ridge understands that DV is a local issue, and the mayor wanted to bring awareness to local communities. Myself and the Center for Hope and Safety would help Bergen County Boroughs coordinate their own forums to start the difficult discussion and to help others.”
She said there is livesaving work ahead, everything from launching social media-based fundraisers for the Center for Hope and Safety and/or Everytown for Gun Safety to leaving Center for Hope and Safety nail files and pens in facility bathrooms, nail salons, and businesses.
“You never know when a person would need their hotline number,” Murphy said.
The Center for Hope and Safety, formerly Shelter Our Sisters, is dedicated to assisting victims, and their children, of domestic violence “by turning fear into safety, helplessness into strength, and isolation into hope.”
Call anytime if you or someone you know needs help. Its hotline is available 24 hours a day at (201) 944-9600. The website is opeandsafetynj.org.
Murphy also suggested hosting awareness forums as well as reaching out to the Board of Education “to make them aware of the educational platforms related to dating violence.”
At the forum, a large portion of the discussion was over the use of guns in domestic violence.
Highlights from the forum, via Murphy:
• Jean Kirch, director of development for The Center for Hope and Safety, said domestic violence does not discriminate. Anyone of any race, age, sexual orientation, religion, or gender can be a victim—or perpetrator—of domestic violence.
It can happen to people who are married, living together or who are dating. It affects people of all socioeconomic backgrounds and education levels, Murphy reported.
She said Kirch, who has been engaged in the issue since 1995, told the audience that police in New Jersey logged 63,420 domestic violence offenses in 2016, a 3 percent increase compared to the 61,659 reported in 2015. Of these, 3,391 offenses were in Bergen County.
Kirch discussed domestic violence behaviors, which include verbal, emotional, sexual and physical abuse.
She said gaslighting is a form of emotional abuse. This causes a victim to question their own memory, perception, and sanity.
She added that dating violence is increasing in tweens, or those aged 13 to 29 and that “Statistics show that one in three females and one in five males will experience some form of dating violence.”
• Larisa Mendez Downes, co-lead of Moms Demand Action Bergen County screened a reenacted video of a domestic violence incident involving gun violence, featuring a woman and her young son being attacked by an ex.
“Although intense, it showed an all too common scene within the United States. Mendez Downes noted the that American women are nearly 16 times more likely to be killed with a gun than women in other industrialized countries; and the presence of a gun in a domestic violence situation makes it five times more likely that a woman will be killed,” Murphy said.
She added, “Over the course of an average month in America, 50 women are shot to death by an intimate partner.”
Murphy also said there is a connection between domestic violence and mass shooters.
According to Mendez Downes, loopholes in the laws allow many domestic abusers the ability to legally obtain guns.
Some states have tried to address legal gaps. Nineteen states and Washington, D.C. go further and require checks on all handgun sales.
New Jersey has closed the “boyfriend loophole,” and has deemed that weapons owned by a convicted abuser must be removed.
“Ultimately, laws designed to keep guns out of the hands of domestic abusers save lives. If you would like more information or to get more involved with ending gun violence please go to Everytown.org,” Murphy said.
• At the forum, Murphy read a letter from Sian Millard, community education and outreach coordinator for Alternatives to Domestic Violence (ADV), a division of the Bergen County Department of Human Services, which is exclusively devoted to domestic violence intervention and prevention.
ADV offers a full range of specialized services, including:
• Community education
• Counseling
• Court Appearance Preparation
• Court Accompaniment
• Crisis intervention
• Individual, group, and family counseling
• Information and referral to other needed services
• Legal advocacy and assistance
• Professional training
Millard wrote in part, “All of our services can be accessed through the 24-hour hotline at (201) 336-7575. This number is also available to those seeking more information or referrals to other critical services that might be needed. Counseling is offered in English, Spanish, and Korean.”
• Murphy also provided information on Manavi [(732) 435-1414], which is dedicated to ending all forms of violence against women.
Manavi began as an awareness campaign on issues concerning South Asian women; today it continues to centralize women’s needs and interests in all its organizational decisions and service provisions.
The forum was videotaped. To view it, reach out to Howard Fredrics at PKRG.