HILLSDALE, N.J.—The devastating loss. The trauma, sometimes relived for years. For some survivors, that’s the end of the story. For others, there’s that grief plus a rarity: purpose, passion, and toil toward a safer and more just world.
How does that happen?
Joan Angela D’Alessandro Memorial Foundation founder Rosemarie D’Alessandro took up that question when she and her son John presented at a law and psychology webinar at Fordham University on Oct. 15 that drew more than 30 scholars and other supporters.
The 75-minute forum was hosted by the Fordham Law–Psychology Seminar and Psi Chi in cooperation with the Manhattan Psychological Association. A recording is available online.
And the session came on the cusp of the 20th anniversary of a law D’Alessandro spearheaded that led to another family who lost a child to violent crime to collect $10 million from the victim’s killer.
D’Alessandro’s message is unwavering: Never give up.
“Just remember to stand up. You’ve got to be brave, even though you’re scared. Even though it might not be something you’re used to doing, if you do it a little bit—even like a pinhole—it will get bigger,” she said.
D’Alessandro is at the forefront of what she calls the movement, a journey of activism to help keep children safe after her own daughter, Joan, then 7 and delivering Girl Scout cookies, was killed at the hands of a neighbor 47 years ago.
The movement dovetails with what Dr. Harold Takooshian, past president of the Manhattan Psychological Association, calls homicide activism, or heroic activism, a phenomenon that he says warrants further study.
Takooshian, also editor on Information Age Publishing’s International Psychology Book Series, lauds D’Alessandro’s resilience and tenacity, which resulted in the passage of Joan’s Law (1997), which ensures that anyone who sexually assaults and murders a child under 14 will never be eligible for parole and will never leave prison.
He said D’Alessandro’s hard work also to the Justice for Victims Law (2000) eliminating the statute of limitations for wrongful death actions and allowing victims to sue criminals if they acquire inheritance or other assets any time after the crime.
Outreach is underway to pass Paula’s Law, which mirrors Joan’s law but raises the age of the child from 14 to 18.
D’Alessandro is listed in a 2020 chapter by Melissa C. Leeolou and Takooshian, in “Assessing Trauma in Forensic Contexts” by R. A. Javier et al. (eds.). The piece notes her heroic activism, and leads with an epigraph, by the poet Thomas Campbell, “To live in hearts we leave behind is not to die.”
The Justice for Victims law, signed Nov. 17, 2000 by acting Gov. Donald DiFrancesco at Hillsdale Borough Hall, eliminated the statute of limitations for civil actions to be brought against criminals who commit murder, manslaughter, or aggravated manslaughter.
Joan’s killer, a former high school science teacher, was convicted of raping and murdering Joan on April 19, 1973, then dumping her body in Harriman State Park, where it was found on Easter.
Her murder prompted the passage of Joan’s Law, signed by Gov. Christie Whitman in 1997 and by President Bill Clinton in 1998. It mandates life in prison for the killing of children under 14 during a sex crime.
It took D’Alessandro 18 months to get the Justice for Victims Law passed, and she was able to use it to sue Joan’s killer. She won a $750,000 judgment but by then the killer had spent all of his inheritance on lawyers in trying to get out of prison.
He likely will die behind bars.
Also under the law, the family of a woman, Susan Reeve, who was murdered in Demarest 36 years ago, was awarded a $10 million settlement from her killer, who is serving a life sentence at Trenton State Prison. The Reeve family donated the money to a scholarship fund.
“It’s there. It’s on the books. Anyone can use it. The people need to know that,” D’Alessandro told Pascack Press.
Speak up, stand up
D’Alessandro told Pascack Press, as she told her Fordham webinar participants, “Many people have trouble speaking up but developing your own voice and standing up for others can save a life. Sometimes it might even be your own.”
She said that’s how Joan lived her brief but powerful life: standing up for others and encouraging us all to be kind and compassionate.
D’Alessandro regularly speaks up for the rights of children and victims, and last spoke at Fordham in February, then as well a guest of the Manhattan Psychological Association.
She counsels and mentors those dealing with tragedy and change. Her foundation provides child safety programs to local schools and trains teachers and parents on how to spot, report, and prevent child abuse.
Funding is provided for tools and fun outings to help children learn and play in safe and loving environments.
This month, Joan’s Joy donated funds raised from its remote Sixth Annual Joan’s Joy Safety Fest in September. Beneficiaries include:
- YCS Holley Center in Hackensack, which received a $3,500 Clorox Total 360 sanitizer system to protect the 64 children who live in the group home. The system promises superior coverage for better germ protection and is EPA-approved to kill the COVID-19 virus.
- YCS Davis House Newark, whose children living there were treated to a $225 take-out meal night.
- Center for Safety and Change, a non-profit organization in New City, New York, which received $500 in $50 gift cards for each of the 10 families who are staying at the center while dealing with poverty and abuse.
- Never Alone Again in Teaneck, which received $300 to support a family that needs emergency shelter from domestic abuse.
- Hearts & Crafts Grief Counseling in Hillsdale, which received stuffed animals for kids being seen there.
Learn more
Joan’s Joy also invites the public to learn about Joan’s Joy Mindful Relaxation & Kindness Program for teachers and students.
Joan’s brief put powerful story is illuminated in the New York Times bestseller “The Killer Across the Table: Unlocking the Secrets of Serial Killers and Predators with the FBI’s Original Mindhunter” by John E. Douglas and Mark Olshaker. The book was the basis for the Netflix series “Mindhunter.”
For more information, visit joansjoy.org.