BY HILLARY VIDERS
SPECIAL TO NORTHERN VALLEY PRESS
TEANECK, N.J.—On Dec. 23, the Never Alone Again Domestic Violence Organization and Resource Center’s (NAAG) Christmas party in Teaneck brought holiday cheer to dozens of families from all over Bergen County.
The W.F. Mays Seventh Day Adventists school gymnasium was packed with children thrilled to receive Christmas gifts and meet Santa and adults enjoying delicious food.
Many of the party goers were survivors of domestic violence who have been helped by NAAG. The Teaneck based nonprofit organization that utilizes the resources of numerous volunteers, works with and advocates for victims in dangerous and abusive relationships. The motto of the organization was written on a large banner: “I will never leave you nor forsake you—Hebrews 13:5.”
At the Christmas party, the school gym was overflowing with good cheer and great food. Several dozen volunteers, including Englewood Girl Scouts, helped myriad families enjoy a delicious buffet dinner, a backdrop for photo ops, and a raffle with laptop computers as prizes. To amplify the festive atmosphere, holiday music blared from loud speakers.
Youngsters had plenty of activities to keep themselves busy, including jumping in the large bounce castle, writing letters to Santa, coloring and making holiday ornaments.
A frolicsome Santa, played by Marvin Barnes of the Elks Club, made a grand entrance and proceeded to hug all the children. As they jumped up to sit on Santa’s lap, he handed each one a gift bag. Later in the afternoon, large shopping bags filled with presents were given to over 200 (pre-registered) families. The food, gifts and raffle prizes were all donated by charitable organizations and local businesses.
During the festivities, Theresa Foncine Johnston, the founder and CEO at Never Alone Again, was honored and presented with an award for her outstanding service. Johnston, a mother of six, said that her own trauma motivated her to create NAAG.
“For 25 years, I suffered physical, mental, verbal and sexual abuse from my domestic partner. I was 19 when I married, and soon after, my husband became controlling, abusive and violent. I was terrified for myself and especially for my children. The youngest one was only 3 months old. Years of covering black eyes and bruises made me ashamed and I felt alone. In 1994, my husband tried to kill me.
Johnston’s husband was jailed for the attempted murder, but was later released. To escape him, she and her children had to relocate and hide in different shelters. He always managed to find her and the threat was ever present.
Finally, Johnston was put in a protection program by the police in Bergen County, who were very sensitive to abuse issues and had the resources to help. Amongst other things, they directed her to an excellent support group in which she participated for several years.
Johnston went on to take courses at Liberty University in Virginia and she was given a grant for training from the police department in Deland, Fla. She earned certifications in Domestic Violence, Substance Abuse, Mental Health and Crisis Prevention and Case Management.
“I believe that I got help from God, and throughout the nightmare, I told my children, ‘Once we get on our feet and we are able to give back, we are going to give back.’”
Johnston did, in fact, give back, and she did so in a big way by creating NAAG, a sanctuary for other victims. She is currently a domestic violence advocate and facilitator for NAAG women peer support groups. She also teaches parenting classes and non-violent discipline techniques to avoid power struggles. She retells her harrowing ordeal and rescue in the book, “Never Alone Again: The Journey. A Domestic Violence Survivor Story.”
Johnston now proudly declares, “I Am a World Shaker and a History Maker making a difference and positive change in people’s lives daily.”
NAAG, which has been based in Teaneck since 2012, provides support to victims of abuse through crisis intervention, advocacy, emotional and spiritual support, access to emergency accommodations, shelter or safe haven, information and resources, case management, parenting classes, bereavement counseling, self-esteem workshop, career development services, education and information, community outreach, teen workshops and women’s health services.
NAAG volunteers are ardent about the organization’s mission and large support network.
“This event gives families of domestic violence a chance to see the good in people,” said volunteer Renee Wilson. “We get sponsors and help from all over!”
Domestic violence occurs everywhere in the world, in various cultures, and affects people of all races and income levels. According to a World Health Organization study, the percentage of women who have reported being physically abused by an intimate partner varies from 10 percent to 69 percent, depending on the country. Although a wife or female partner is more commonly the victim of domestic violence, the victim can also be the husband or male partner.
Domestic violence can take a number of forms including physical, emotional, verbal, economic and sexual abuse. Domestic violence often occurs because the perpetrator believes that abuse is justified and acceptable, and may produce intergenerational cycles of abuse that condone violence. Awareness, perception, definition and documentation of domestic violence differs widely from country to country. There may be a cycle of abuse during which tensions rise and an act of violence is committed, followed by a period of reconciliation and calm.
Alcohol consumption and mental illness can lead to or worsen abuse, and they present additional challenges in eliminating domestic violence.
The NAAG annual Christmas party, now in its second year, was a testament to Johnston’s strength and determination to overcome her abuse and to help prevent abuse from destroying other women. Along the road from victim to victor, she realized her calling.
“I am not what happened to me,” she said. “I am what I chose to become.”
Photos by Hillary Viders