HILLSDALE—Within a day of posting a video sharing her thoughts on the 49th anniversary of the loss of her daughter, Joan Angela, Rosemarie D’Alessandro fielded dozens of messages of love.
The 16-minute video was Rosemarie’s sometimes searching, sometimes welling, always hopeful essay on “Joan’s Anniversary, her passing, overcoming evil, and dealing with loss.”
The Hillsdale mother and the founder of the Joan Angela
D’Alessandro Memorial Foundation, or Joan’s Joy, told her viewers the grim outline of her family’s loss: Joan left her home to deliver Girl Scout cookies on Holy Thursday in 1973. She said she’d be right back. She never returned.
The 26-year-old high school chemistry teacher who lived three doors down confessed to beating, sexually assaulting, and strangling Joan, then wrapping her body, putting it in his car, and leaving it in Harriman State Park, in New York, where it was found on Easter Sunday. He was convicted and given a life term.
He died in prison on June 5, 2021, ending the D’Alessandros’ need to fight to keep him there, as a loophole had allowed him tries at parole. He next would have been eligible in 2025.
He lived long enough to see D’Alessandro’s mission of justice and child empowerment succeed. Joan’s Law was passed in New Jersey in 1997 and at the federal level in 1998. The law prohibits parole for anyone convicted of killing a child under 14 in conjunction with a sexual assault.
She was instrumental in related legislation passing in New York.
Backed by her family and fellow travelers worldwide, D’Alessandro has been an inspiration to law enforcement officers, psychologists, other child safety advocates, and families in crisis, and researchers studying “heroic activism.”
She’s shared her story and example widely — all the while triumphing daily against the downward pull of myasthenia gravis, a rare neuromuscular disorder — and has been tireless in her push to raise awareness, opportunities, and empowerment.
Joan’s Joy provides support to neglected and abused children through fun and educational excursions and helps victims of crime by way of consultation.
As the organization notes, “Joan’s story has brought hope through awareness and prevention. The lives of thousands will continue to benefit from the impact of her legacy.”
Last Sept. 25 brought the 7th Annual Joan’s Joy Safety Festival to the Joan Angela D’Alessandro White Butterfly Sculpture and Garden at the Hillsdale Train Station, on Broadway.
There were blue-ribbon speakers, a social justice circle, a butterfly release, entertainers, face painting and balloon fun, and a tricky tray and raffle.
Personal connection
In her April 18 video reflection, D’Alessandro said, “After we go through something and we have made a choice to go through what we do, our lives change and we transform to become people that are using a lot of new skills that they weren’t using before, in a positive way.”
She said, “A lot of times, what I’ve seen — this is complete evil — and that evil is fueled by power. That’s what evil wants: power, dominance. It wants to be in charge of whatever it decides. It could be a child, it could be adults, it could be a country.”
She said, “It incorporates the same thing, the evil, the wickedness the person chooses: to satisfy himself or herself, and feel I am the most powerful, I am better than anyone, even God, and … it doesn’t matter how much the child or the other person is hurt.”
A woman of faith, D’Alessandro said evil, like good, is a choice.
She said her choice was to fight for change. “It had to have something positive come out of it.”
She added, “I think when we work together for positive purposes that’s the way society changes. The area I do is one area, the area you do is another, for someone else it’s another. It gets bigger and bigger for good, for positive, for hope, for standing up for people — even though it’s hard and can harm you.”
She referred to the citizens of Ukraine, defending against Vladimir Putin’s war. “These people are such an inspiration to me and I hope they are to you. They have this fighting attitude, they want to get justice; they believe in hope; they’re not giving up hope.”
She urged material support and prayer. “I think every little thing that we can do can help them.”
D’Alessandro also invited those listening to connect with her with their stories of suffering, loss, and working-through.
Viewers showered her and her family with love. A few samples:
- “You and Joan are in our prayers! Thank you for all that you do! Everything was well said and we admire you for being Joan’s voice!”
- “I’ve been thinking of Joan, you and family all day last two days. I keep you all in prayer daily. I can never forget how Joan suffered on Holy Thursday. You are a great mother and I love how you and sons keep her memory alive. Her life still has purpose in how these laws protect children. I, for one, being a child molestation victim, know what I have suffered, but if our state had Joan’s Law at the time his last victim would have been saved. Many blessings to you always Rosemarie.”
- “I never forget about you, Joan and your entire family. You have worked tirelessly in the memory of your little girl and have made a difference in who knows how many lives. Thank you Rosemarie.”
- [Google-translated from Russian] “You have come a long way to achieve the result that you have now, no doubt it has helped and will continue to help preserve priceless children’s lives. Thank you for your hard work! I read the history of your family in a book by John Douglas. I hug you from Russia.”