HILLSDALE—Christina Conti, 21, has everything going for her. She’s the oldest of three, a junior at Montclair State University studying marketing, and was her high school Class of 2020 valedictorian.
Recently arrived in the borough from Hackensack — in 2020 her extended family needed the space and Hillsdale was a perfect fit at the right price — she says she’s guided by three things: her faith, her family, and knowing herself.
All three elements will be essential as she takes on the challenge of stepping back onto a prominent and newly more meaningful stage: competing for Miss New Jersey USA, representing Hillsdale, in March.
There, she looks forward to raising essential awareness of what it’s like to live with epilepsy, a central nervous system (neurological) disorder.
Anyone can develop epilepsy, in which brain activity becomes abnormal, causing seizures or periods of unusual behavior, sensations and sometimes loss of awareness.
The Mayo Clinic explains seizure symptoms can vary widely. “Some people with epilepsy simply stare blankly for a few seconds during a seizure, while others repeatedly twitch their arms or legs. Having a single seizure
doesn’t mean you have epilepsy. At least two seizures without a known trigger (unprovoked seizures) that happen at least 24 hours apart are generally required for an epilepsy diagnosis.”
It adds, “Treatment with medications or sometimes surgery can control seizures for the majority of people with epilepsy. Some people require lifelong treatment to control seizures, but for others, the seizures eventually go away. Some children with epilepsy may outgrow the condition with age.”
Conti has struggled with epilepsy all her life, though episodes had tapered off in recent years. In late 2021, after suffering her first seizure in eight years, she lost her driving privileges for the first half of 2022.
Her doctor’s precaution, applied while new medication stabilized her, felt like punishment for something she couldn’t control.
“Even though I knew that wasn’t the case — I knew I’m not being punished — nobody understood me; not even the doctor understood me,” Conti said.
She added, “But I knew that other people deal with this for longer — some people can’t drive at all.”
The setback seemed poised to renew her sense of isolation. “When I was in high school, middle school, elementary school, I 100% felt completely alone because I didn’t see anybody in the wider world, or my immediate world, who dealt with it. The only thing I saw was people making fun of it. So I felt extremely isolated, and that’s why it was so hard to come out and speak about it.”
Conti (on Instagram as thechristinaconti) is familiar with modeling and pageants — she started competing at 6, then put it on hold to enjoy her studies and sports at Bergen County Christian Academy.
Amid the coronavirus lockdown she followed up on Miss New Jersey USA’s call for contestants on Instagram. She got in, and in 2021 competed. She advanced to the semifinals but didn’t place. It was a solid learning experience.
“My pageant mindset until this had been pretty shallow — that it was all about how you looked, how you performed, and that’s all I focused on going in that year. It became evident this pageant system is based on what you can bring to the table… what you’ve experienced and what you can shed light on for the community and the world.”
She said, “So I started to think. I’m like, Oh, wow, duh; I have struggled with having epilepsy my entire life. This was something I had never been comfortable talking about because I was heavily bullied in school for it, when I was younger. So I became really self-conscious about it and awkward about it.”
Conti said, “I realized, OK, if this is something I want to do, if this is something I want to compete for, if this is a title I want, then I have to get comfortable with the uncomfortable things.”
She started working with the Epilepsy Foundation of America, becoming an ambassador for them, and helping raise funds and awareness.
When she competes again she’ll certainly have more to offer. “Instead of ‘How well can I perform, how expensive is my dress,’ I’ll have ‘How much light can I shed on this topic that is very important to me and that I know other people struggle with.’”
The Miss USA Organization bills itself as “a globally recognized pageant platform that celebrates the unique beauty of women across all cultures. We remain relevant in mainstream culture, as we connect young women to their own beauty and help activate their voice.”
It says, “We are a sisterhood in arms, a family of movers and shakers in beauty and business, poised to positively impact the status of women by bringing pageants to the everyday lives of everyday Americans.”
The reigning Miss New Jersey USA is Alexandra Lakhman, a 26-year old, first-generation Ukrainian-American from Hoboken. She’s a digital marketing associate manager working for a Fortune 500 company.
Her biography on the pageant website says “Alexandra comes from a family where her younger brother is diagnosed with a progressive physical disability, spinal muscular atrophy. This disease is the leading genetic cause of death for infants, with no cure to date.”
Contestants are judged in three areas of competition: interview, swimsuit (miss) or activewear (teen), and evening gown. Judging criteria includes character, poise, confidence, and personality.
There is no performing talent competition.
The organization says, “Whether you’re 4 feet tall or 7 feet tall it doesn’t matter. In the swimsuit portion of the competition, the judges will be looking for physical fitness, which includes a healthy and fit body. There’s usually a wide range of body styles and types for the Top 10 Finalists each year. We’re looking for outgoing, intelligent, confident, attractive young women excited to represent the beauty of New Jersey.”
It says most of its contestants are newcomers to pageants.
Reaching out and rising up
Conti’s pageant is in March, in Parsippany-Troy Hills. Win or lose, she looks forward to hosting a fundraiser for the Epilepsy Foundation of America this year and deepening her relationship with the organization—and working toward “seizure-safe schools.”
Also, through Instagram, she recently became involved with a social media awareness project organized by the Cameron Boyce Foundation, which was established in 2019 to honor the legacy of Cameron Boyce “by aiming to cure epilepsy through funding research, education and awareness campaigns while still supporting causes that were important to Cameron.”
Conti has a coach to help her compete, not only with interview preparation but also in refining her brand.
And she has the full support of her family — her parents (she says her mom has roots in Bermuda and Trinidad and that her dad is Italian); her 5-year-old brother; her 13-year-old sister; and her grandparents.
Of her brand, she says, “I have so much and it’s kind of hard to wrap my head around how to break that down.” What emerges is that this is Conti’s chance to be the spokesperson on epilepsy she did not have growing up.
And she could have used an advocate, a warm and friendly face on the other side of an episode.
Of the seizures she’d get that made her appear to suddenly zone out, she says, “Of course kids will look at you and think you’re crazy and will snap in your face and be really mean about it. They don’t realize that’s a seizure; they aren’t putting that together.”
Conti also would suffer seizures that had her “hysterically laughing and then transitioning to hysterically sobbing.” Her symptoms are “things that people need to be aware of: It’s not somebody being crazy or losing their mind; these are uncontrollable seizures that people experience. It doesn’t always look like what you might think it looks like.”
Losing her license temporarily had forced her to open up – to educators at Montclair State University, where she’s studying marketing — and in getting rides to college.
Once people understood a bit more about her life, so much more became possible for her, she says.
“My brand is me shining light on a situation that took me to a dark place that some people are still in, and I want people to realize you don’t have to be in a dark place. Other people experience these things. It means my being a spokesperson, if you will, for something that I never saw someone being a spokesperson for, growing up.”
That’s not to say she lacked support. “My parents were always very supportive and helpful but as far as being at school and having friends and everything like that, nobody fully got it. But it’s OK. It’s life.”
Her message is “It’s OK to tell your teachers, your bosses, and the people around you that this is something you struggle with, as it does affect your everyday life. And that’s something that losing my license taught me: it helped me come out of my shell a lot more.”
Although epileptic seizures can be triggered by stress, Conti says she’s not worried about stepping up for Miss New Jersey USA. She’s faced worse.
“Covid life. I was a senior that year. That was an absolutely insane time: no senior trip, no prom, and graduation was weird. I was valedictorian of my senior class. That was something I worked on for a really long time, and then preparing a speech, and then [not to have the expected graduation ceremony] it was really hard. It was something I wanted for a long time.”
In contrast, the pageant isn’t a big deal. “I’m not concerned only because I have a lot of fun with this. I don’t take anything too seriously when it comes to this. It’s just fun for me. At the end of the day it’s just a pageant. It’s not life or death and I’m not going to get stressed out.”
Her plans after high school don’t necessarily involve pageants, though if she wins Miss New Jersey USA she might take it a step further. “Once I graduate I would love to get my master’s in marketing, and would love to be a marketing executive for a major fashion brand.”
Asked what advice she might offer a young person developing their own brand, she said, “Be yourself, know yourself, and don’t lose sight of what’s important to yourself.”
For Conti, she said, “That’s my faith. I’m a Christian, so that’s incredibly important to me; family is incredibly important to me; and just knowing myself. Those three things have helped me navigate everything.”