EMERSON—Steve Setteducati has spent years helping families plan for the future. Now, facing kidney failure, he is asking for help himself — something he says does not come easily.
“I just don’t like to be the one asking for help. I never was in my lifetime,” said Setteducati, a former Emerson mayor and CEO of New Concepts for Living, a nonprofit serving adults with intellectual and developmental disabilities.
Setteducati, who turns 65 this month, has been living with a progressive kidney disease for about two years. His condition has worsened to the point that he said he expects to begin dialysis within weeks.
A transplant could change that — but the wait for a deceased-donor kidney can stretch for years.
A living donor, if a match is found, would allow the transplant to happen much sooner.
That urgency has led Setteducati and his family to take a step they long resisted: making a public appeal.
“I had to really stop and think about it,” he told Pascack Press April 14. “I’m not a private person, but I just don’t like to be the one asking for help.”
The response so far has been striking.
More than 20 employees at Paramus-based New Concepts for Living volunteered to be evaluated as potential donors after an internal appeal last year, he said. But transplant centers may restrict or decline such donations because of ethical concerns about undue influence in employer-employee relationships.
“I was very, very moved,” Setteducati said. “I couldn’t believe how many people stepped up.”
Some were ruled out during initial health screenings. Others were unable to proceed because of the employment relationship.
The result is that the search continues — now widened to the public.
Setteducati’s wife, Martha, said the decision to speak openly has been difficult but necessary.
“I’ve always been so private, so this is so out of my realm,” she said. “But we need help now.”
‘This is a big ask, but…’
The couple’s two sons — Michael, 30, and Steve Jr., 28, are being evaluated as potential donors, she said, though the family hopes a suitable match may come from elsewhere.
The boys took to social media April 8 to raise awareness: They posted in part, “This is a big ask, but it will save his life. If you know him, you know he has dedicated his life to helping others through his work with NCFL and the special needs community—and now he needs our help. There is still so much life ahead of him and so many more moments for him to experience, and our family is holding onto hope that we can find a match.”
The search comes at an already difficult time for the Setteducati family. Martha has been undergoing treatment for breast cancer, but waves this off and says the focus remains on finding a donor for her husband.
Setteducati’s work has long been rooted in helping others.
A lifelong Emerson resident, he served on the borough’s Planning Board before being elected mayor in 2003. During that time, he was involved in efforts to address the town’s affordable housing obligations, including supporting the development of housing for adults with special needs.
Years later, after selling a private-sector business and briefly retiring, he was recruited to the board of New Concepts for Living, the organization involved in that earlier work. He became CEO in 2016.
Under his leadership, the nonprofit has expanded significantly, increasing the number of residences it operates and opening a large day program facility in Paramus. The organization now serves more than 200 individuals, with hundreds more on waiting lists.
For Setteducati, the work has been personal. He often speaks about the moment when families, after years of uncertainty about their child’s future, are able to place their trust in a stable, supportive home.
“It’s moments like that that make me say I love my job,” he said.
Now, the focus is on his own future.
How to get involved
Those interested in being evaluated as potential donors can begin the process through the transplant centers working with Setteducati. Prospective donors can register through the centers’ living donor programs and indicate they wish to be evaluated on his behalf.
Michael and Steve Jr.’s post noted “A few things many people don’t realize”:
- You only need one kidney to live a long, healthy life;
- The cost of donation is typically covered by the recipient’s insurance;
- The screening process is confidential and thorough;
- If you donate and end up needing a kidney down the line, you’re at the top of the donation list.
“If you’ve ever felt called to help someone, this could be that moment. If you’re open to learning more or seeing if you might be a match, apply with Cooperman Barnabas Medical Center — Living Donor Program or the Kidney Transplant Program, a part of the NYU Langone Transplant Institute.
“If you aren’t able to donate, you can still make a huge difference by sharing this post and our dad’s story. It would mean the world to us because it could end up reaching the perfect match. Thank you for sharing and keeping our family in your thoughts,” they add.
For the Setteducatis, the hope is that someone, somewhere, will take that first step.