MONTVALE—At least a dozen families who previously attended St. Paul’s Episcopal Church have either voluntarily left or been banned from the church and its premises by the pastor, due to “words and actions which perpetuate negative and harmful feelings against” the church.
That’s according to the church’s pastor, Jill Williams, in an interview with Pascack Press.
Williams, who was unanimously selected as pastor by a church vestry in November 2021 for a two-year trial period as priest in charge, and says she’s the first LGBTQ+ leader of the congregation, has made changes at St. Paul’s that some parishioners strongly oppose.
At least 20–30 parishioners protested every Sunday in February outside the church grounds on Woodland Avenue near Grand Avenue, a busy thoroughfare. Some hold signs reading, “Under New Management, Old Members Not Welcome,” “Bring Back St. Paul’s Nursery School,” “Jesus Wouldn’t Turn Us Away,” and “We Want Our Church Back.”
Mayor Michael Ghassali brought the group hot chocolate on one cold Sunday morning.
Williams defends the changes as necessesary and says “The response from the unhappy people intensified and became more personal. Some of these unhappy folks began to criticize and even threaten, both in-person and on social media. Their social media posts have provoked hate speech based on my sexuality.”
She said, “My wife and I are new to this community … These attacks have caused us to fear for our physical safety.”
Changes include the closing and selling off of furnishings and toys at its nursery school after 50-plus years on site; dismantling of the children’s playground at the nursery school, which neighborhood youngsters previously enjoyed; and prohibiting parishioners from asking questions or comments on off-limit topics, including the annual parish budget.
Meantime, Williams tells Pascack Press that certain parishioners had refused to turn over church financial records to her after she became pastor and called for her immediate removal.
She says “many of these” individuals chose to leave the parish at the end of 2020 and early 2021. She says she still does not have full access to church financial records.
According to Williams, four families were asked not to return until they have worked through a reconciliation plan, beginning with the Lombard Mennonite Peace Center. She said 10 families have announced that they intend to leave the parish, although only one has made a formal request to be transferred.
At the same time, she said, 54 new people representing 19 households have joined the parish, “so we are glad to say that we are growing.”
Asked by Pascack Press about threats she says she’s received, Williams on Feb. 28 said she had been “the target of anger and vitriol for assuming the standard responsibilities of a priest-in-charge — the job that the congregation hired me to do. I have also been targeted for decisions I did not make, like closing the nursery school.”
She said that “Several comments on social media have openly and negatively referred to my sexuality, and at least one protest sign has expressed appreciation for former President Trump and a desire that his way of thinking prevail at St. Paul’s.”
She added, “The vestry of the congregation has expressed its full support for my leadership. As a result, I think it is reasonable to assume that I am being targeted for my identity rather than for my performance.”
‘You are no longer welcome’
In an early December email to about a dozen members, Williams wrote, “Due to previous incidents of tension as well as behaviors that have interfered with the life and mission of this church, we are writing this letter to serve as an official notice that you and your family are no longer welcome on the property of St. Paul’s Episcopal Church.”
She said, “The Montvale Police Department is copied on this email and, should you be anywhere on the property, they will be called and you will be arrested and charged with Defiant Trespassing, statute 2C:18-3a.”
The email, shared with Pascack Press by exiled parishioner Marie “Ree” Hopper, capped off weeks of disagreements between Williams and some congregants.
At the Dec. 5, 2021 service, Williams requested Montvale police be present and asked them to prevent certain individuals whom she identified from entering the church or grounds, including Hopper.
Sources said a list was later provided by Williams to police to screen out banned individuals from attending services.
Hopper, who uses a walker, was stopped Dec. 5 at the church entrance by police and Williams. The scene was photographed by a parishioner. Hopper said when that photo was posted on Facebook, the photographer then received an email from Williams temporarily banning her from attending church.
Hopper told Pascack Press, “Many parishioners are very upset, many have left the church and others have been refused admittance, some remain trying to work out the problems from within.”
She said weekly mass attendance is about 20 or so individuals, noting “at least 60 to 70 percent of the former congregation no longer attends church there.”
She said in addition to being upset and frustrated with the actions of Williams, the banned parishioners and friends are frustrated with the Episcopal Diocese of Newark, “who has not responded to our pleas for help.”
However, Williams told Pascack Press what happened when she was forced to shut the nursery school after years of declining enrollment, dismantle the playground due to insurance liability, and ban sledding again due to liability and to maintain the church grounds.
She said, “Some of the unhappy individuals that remained at the parish also began disrupting public worship services and church events with their grievances, and that is where we had to put up a clear boundary. St. Paul’s is a church that prides itself on full inclusion of all people. We do not tolerate anyone being made to feel uncomfortable or unsafe in our sacred worship space.”
“In order to ensure the safety and well-being of our congregation, the Vestry and I sent a letter to several families informing them they were no longer welcome on parish property. This was a heartbreaking thing for all of us, but no other course of action had resolved the situation, and other parishioners were becoming upset and afraid,” she said.
Letters from the bishop
Williams provided Pascack Press with letters sent to St. Paul’s Church congregation on Feb. 4 and Feb. 11 by the Right Rev. Carlye J. Hughes, IX Episcopal Bishop of Newark. The first letter addresses conflict in faith communities and the second offers the services of an organization to help with “mediation and conflict transformation” for those wishing to meet together and communicate about conflicts separating them from the church.
“Dear Friends in Christ, This letter is the second of two letters regarding St. Paul’s Episcopal Church in Montvale, NJ. The first was a teaching letter about ways the Christian faith, the Book of Common Prayer, and the governance of Episcopal churches can inform a healthy process through conflict. This letter is written in conjunction with my first letter and offers first steps for those former members longing to return to St. Paul’s,” the Bishop writes.
After noting how some prior parish leaders “disregarded basic protocol and professionalism” when Williams was selected as pastor by not handing over financial records, Hughes concluded her appeal by urging dialogue and reconciliation.
“Finally, I have not asked current or former parishioners to do anything that I have not done myself as a committed Christian. My tone is forthright and firm with both groups. Tend to your spiritual life, be in conversation, do the work to resolve conflict, and trust God to bring reconciliation,” Hughes said.
She added, “These are all spiritual practices that take repeated effort, guidance, wisdom, and God’s healing. Like all things, engaging in these practices is a choice. I pray this is a choice you will make.”
Hopper said those picketing wanted to make their voices heard loud and clear. “Many members of the congregation have been banned from church services and activities, or received legal no trespassing notices as reprisals for questioning or voicing opinions about the operational and financial decisions being made under this person’s leadership. Saint Paul’s is no longer a welcoming community, but we are working together to make it one again.”
Hopper said ongoing disagreements with Williams focus on the no-trespassing signs she has put up on the church property that previously welcomed visitors; her not being transparent about the current church budget; and switching snowplow duties to a paid landscaper in lieu of a parishioner who provided the service for free.
Hopper said after about 20 letters were sent to Williams opposing her decisions. Hopper said she believed that Williams got nervous that some of the congregation might be threatening harm and she asked local police to show up in December and hired security for other Sunday services.
“She doesn’t believe in freedom or speech,” Hopper alleged of Williams. She said Williams preferred “no conversations during or after the service, and wanted no destructive or negative conversations” about the church.
Hopper asserted that parishioners who disagree with Williams do so because they disagree with the way she is running the parish, and that it has nothing to do with her being a lesbian.
She noted the Episcopalians were welcoming of homosexual men and women in ministry for decades, much more so than some other major religions.