BY MICHAEL OLOHAN
OF PASCACK PRESS
PARK RIDGE, N.J. –– He may have been the youngest person there but his words resonated with more than 400 adults – law enforcement and education officials – gathered to hear about bullying and bias incidents in Bergen County.
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“I’m a bully. But I’m also a bystander, witness, and victim. And so are each and every one of you. The only difference between all of us is our willingness to admit that,” said Lewis Grosso, a 16-year-old, who addressed the 26th annual Statewide Narcotics Action Plan (SNAP) conference Oct. 19 at the Venetian in Garfield.
Grosso told the crowd they all “have a different understanding of what bullying really is and that’s why I’m here.”
His speech was initiated weeks before when Park Ridge High School psychologist and student assistance coordinator Andy Yeager received an email from Bergen County Prosecutor’s Office that sought a student who could speak about cyber-bullying.
Grosso, a former child actor on Broadway in “Mary Poppins” and “Newsies”, said that he was looking to use his acting and public speaking skills to get more involved in addressing cyber-bullying.
“I would love to do it again,” said Grosso in a phone interview Oct. 23. He said his speech’s theme that “we are all bullies, bystanders, and victims” is important because many people have “stereotypes” of what a bully is. He said one thing he learned from his parents “is never judge anyone.”
For Grosso, one particular negative experience caused much pain and he still remembers it a decade later. In his speech, he said:
“Bullying can be small comments or actions that can intentionally or unintentionally hurt somebody. I remember the summer going into first grade there was a contest between the students in each grade in my elementary school to see who could read the most summer reading books. I cannot even tell you the exact number of books I read, but all I know is I took that contest very seriously. It was the first day back to school and my principal began announcing the winners by grade. I was so excited because I knew in my heart that I had won.”
“And the winner of this contest for first grade is … Lewis Gross-o. Although that was an innocent mispronunciation by my principal, the kids found it funny and began calling me gross. That turned what should have been a great experience for me into a negative one,” he told the audience of educators and law enforcement.
Grosso’s speech also touched on teachers, police officers, and what motivates bullies. He said:
“In today’s age, teachers must be very aware of their actions and comments toward students, as this issue has become very sensitive. This also applies to policemen. It is becoming a struggle for them to perform their daily service because people are becoming a lot more sensitive toward their rights and feelings,” he continued.
“Bullies do not have to be psychopaths, sociopaths, or just kids who suffer from bad upbringings. In fact, most bullies today are emotionally and socially very stable. They are all just trying to meet their needs and goals, but sometimes in the process of meeting these needs and goals, they do it at somebody else’s expense,” Grosso said.
Grosso said many of the experiences that he lived through previously as a child actor in New York City helped inform his Oct. 19 presentation. He said making the speech “was just the starting point for me.”
He said he would like to continue to address “what topics are most pressing on (teens) today…issues that interfere with them being happy and successful,” he added.
Principal Troy Lederman said that he was “extremely proud” of Grosso’s presentation. “It’s an outstanding thing. This is just the beginning,” he said
Yeager said that Grosso’s speech was aimed to address “the misconceptions and cliches” many adults have about bullying. Grosso is a Peer Leadership member and Students Against Destructive Decisions (SADD) member.
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Grosso lives with parents Scott and Theresa. His sister, Gianna, is a freshman at Montclair State University.
“How brave is he. Great job, Lewis,” said Elizabeth Rebein, conference moderator and assistant prosecutor when Grosso concluded his remarks to applause.
Photo courtesy Joe Pavone, Bergen County Prosecutor’s Office